November 2008
2 posts
How to handle the Holidays….
When you see someone’s newborn baby and the kid looks like a Klingon, you know damn well the parents are expecting you to give the standard complement “Oh my god he/she is beautiful” but you don’t want to lie, you cant say “omg your kids ugly, what happened?” Just say something like “wow he looks just like you”.
When someone is about to talk your ear off and you don’t really feel like...
October 2008
4 posts
For better or for worse...
Sometimes you just have to do, what you just have to do. You see when you become a man there are certain undeniable truths in life, you have to grow up (at least a little bit when the situation calls for it), you have to find a mate (online doesn’t count), you have to get a real job (Ice Cream scooper at 31 flavors doesn’t cut it), and last but not least you have to trick a women into thinking you...
How to seduce a woman
So you’re not a Latin chico rico savue, but you want to be. First things first all women, well most of them have some kind of self esteem issues; there is always something they don’t like about themselves. Use this to your advantage, tell them how nice their shoes are, or how nice their hair looks today, especially if they just got a new hair cut or style. Don’t be that guy who goes up to a girl...
July 2008
18 posts
Size matters
Ask any woman if size maters and she will flat out tell you “No”. That answer is a lie, a LIE! If you got the same girl alone with all of her girlfriends out on the town and they are drinking they will say it matters, and all the girls at the table will agree. Size does matter, and if it didn’t then why would women check out a guys package? Hell even the size of the diamond in a ring maters you...
Super Ugly
Is it me or does ugly seem like its on sale right now? Recently there have been a rash of ugly people cited in there streets and in the malls. It’s an epidemic. I can’t turn on the TV without seeing Katie Couric on the evening news making me regret that I have a high definition TV. This phenomenon of ugly people everywhere is a direct contradiction of the theory of evolution. If evolution is in...
Open Casting Call
The Legend of Chico Bravo is going to be casting in your area for one night only. Feel Good Entertainment Presents, A Sucker Punch Production, Film by The People Who Love you. Open Casting Call for “The Legend of Chico Bravo” Must be able to work from sundown to sun up. Must be 18 or over and willing to work long hard hours, all shapes and sizes welcome, must be attractive and photogenic, midgets...
Sunglasses in the Club
A disturbing trend that started around the time JLo, and Charlie’s Angels movies came out with the light silver tinted sunglasses has grown into dickwads with full blown blueblockers, locs, or any another style of sunglasses. Dude, get over it; its fricken 2am and dark as hell in the club, no one thinks you look cool with fricken sunglasses on.
How not to live your 15min of fame
Soulja Boy isnt shit. He can’t rhyme to save his life, and this one hit wonder is about 5 hours past his 15min of fame. Crank Dat is nothing more then disposiable pop music, I won’t even give it the respect of calling it Hip Hop.
FAKE
What are you left with when you remove all of the fakeness that some women pile on into fooling you that she is more attractive then she really is? Fake hair, fake hair color, fake eyes color, fake eye lashes, fake jewelry, fake coach purse, fake perfume, fake jimmy chu’s, fake tan, fake ass painted on eye browse cause they shaved their shit off and now have a permanent ronald mcdonald...
Personal responsibility
Some think that living life to its fullest and doing anything and everything that they desire will one day be long lost and forgotten, and wont have consequences in the end. One day when you met the girl of your dreams, I mean everything, smart, pretty, educated, no STDs, no kids, great career and you fall head over heal with her; it’s then when the life you lead will catch up to you. She...
Don’t be this guy
I’m not sure who what where how or why this started but the nations leading douche bags are wearing layered Polos like there is no tomorrow. Don’t be this guy, anything that could interfere with you getting your armor off in time to steal home isn’t worth the effort. That is all.
Isaiah 2008
Warning: Crazy Bitch
Okay so we have all run into one or two in our life time, but there are some tell tail signs of instability. Where they come from, do they hate there parents? This isn’t a defacto standard but it sign but it’s a good start. If she came from a broken home, her parents don’t like her and she doesn’t like them then we have someone who most likely had a dysfunctional childhood and is highly likely to...
January 2008
6 posts
Bitching, its easyier if they are pretty to put up...
I may or may not have touched on this with you before, but I was having a rather candid conversation with a collage about this subject just the other day. Isn’t an undeniable truth that a man is more likely to put up with a woman being a complete bitch to him the more attractive or sexually appealing the woman is? For example you come home from work to find your Rosie O’Donnell look a like in the...
Turn off the phone
If you ask a woman out on a date, before you pick her up turn off your cell phone. Imagine how irritated you would be if her cell phone kept ringing while you where on a date with her. So show some dignity and respect while you are out with her and give her your undivided attention. If she happens to get up to go to the washroom go ahead and chick out the super duper hot fine lady at the bar with...
New Year’s Homework
Fight Club (1999)Tyler Durden: Guys, what would you wish you’d done before you died? Steph: Paint a self-portrait. The Mechanic: Build a house. Tyler Durden: [to Narrator] And you? Narrator: I don’t know. Turn the wheel now, come on! Tyler Durden: You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? Narrator: I don’t know, I...
December 2007
16 posts
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
Ø 40-ish…………………………….49. Ø Adventurous……………………..Slept with everyone. Ø Athletic…………………………..No breasts. Ø Average looking…………………Moooo. Ø...
Women are the Devil
It’s true. It’s Undeniable. The are evil and wicked will pull your heart out throw it up in the air shoot at it unitll the banana clip is empty and let the dogs eat it’s hole filled remains. Don’t try to understand them don’t try to be nice to them because it doesnt help. If you dont do something they want you to your an asshole, if you do something they want you to,...
The Number
Don’t ask don’t tell. That’s what should be the policy in today’s world because odds are you don’t want to know the truth. Women for the most part will always lie about how many men they have encountered in there life. But in today’s world where you can contract life long and ending diseases it’s important to know what you are getting yourself into. Should you happen to run into a true Virgin you...
Hooters
Okay so I had this conversation with a friend of mine a work the other day and he said that he wont go to hooters because its exploiting and objectifying women. I highly disagree. Hooters provides a great social atmosphere where men can go to escape feminist oppression, have some great man food, and have the kind of service with a smile you just can’t get from the mustached Soup Nazi named...
The Art of Cheating
First and foremost if you are going to cheat on your lady, be prepared to loose her. If you can’t live without her then you better not do it, because shit happens. Should you find your self yearning for more out side of your relationship what ever you do don’t hook up with someone in your circle of friends or even your town for that matter. Your mistress should be at least 25 miles away, and...
What is Love?
This intangible, immeasurable, unpredictable, and uncontrollable emotion that has started wars, given new life and broken more hearts then there are people in this world. What is Love? You can see it in the face of those you truly care about. You can feel its energy when you get close to someone like static attraction drawing you closer. It hurts when our loved ones leave or pass on. It’s opens...
What you should know before going in
Things we should do but will never get around to before getting into a relationship: First thing you might want to know is her sexual past. I’m not talking about the acceptable predetermined disclosed number of three that women are told to tell men when they are in the 2nd grade so as to not scare off a guy by the true number of 39. Sometimes the truth hurts but if you know how many men she...
Seek inner beauty
Sadly, we all have unrealistic ideals about what would make us happy with a woman. We fantasize about Jessica Alba being what we want and look for in a woman but odds are a woman of such beauty is very unlikely to have more to offer then a trophy on your arm until she finds someone else who can meet her high maintenance needs. Show me a fine woman who likes to cook and clean, there is no such...
Even if its for a good cause, its still wrong
In the news right now a young woman by the name of Maria Carolina of Chile. She is a prostitute who is donating here services to charity (no not you) for the needy children of Chile. Even though she is doing it for a good cause it’s still very very wrong for you to pay for sex with a woman on a whole lot of levels, but that last thing you want to do is slip-n-slide with someone everyone else has...
November 2007
18 posts
To boldly go where no man has gone before
By now you know all of the tried and conquered paths for woman hunting. It’s time we discussed the hidden pastures of unsuspecting woman the world over. We’ve all seen the movie Wedding Crashers, keep in mind, I’m not encouraging you to crash weddings but if you get the invite to go to one, by all means go. Lots of single or pretending to be single women will be there, everyone...
